Monday, January 21, 2008

I have lost a very good friend. I lost a friend without even a good bye. I suppose now that doesn't surprise me too much. She did it gracefully and on her own terms.

She came to Second Life two years ago this week. I had literally seen her walk into the Ahern Welcome Area for the first time. Even though only one minute old, she displayed a cheerful confidence. She stood out from every other new person I had ever seen walk into the WA. It was obvious that she was very special. Someone else told me later that others that knew her in those early days of the WA assumed she must be an alt. It never mattered to me if she was or not. She had begun chatting immediately with people. I dropped a folder of freebie clothing on her as I was apt to do back then and she walked up to me and her first words to me were "You are so beautiful." I will never forget that. She continued talking with people. Someone else, I no longer remember who, took her to buy prim hair. I left the WA for an hour or so and when I returned, someone told me that she had been asking for me after she returned from hair shopping. A few minutes later, she was back again and offered friendship. The next few days I would help her with SL. She would message me as soon as she logged on. She became friends with the people that I knew and for the next several months we all had many happy adventures together. I began to realize that I was happier than I had been in years. I felt that I had a virtual friend who would always want to do things with me. It was a very good time.

I also began to understand that she approached SL differently than many others. For her SL was the opportunity to have fun and be silly. Everyone that knew her was amazed by her endless energy. It was fun being with her. I don't think that she ever fully appreciated that for many others SL was the only opportunity to socialize and have friends. She was always very popular and many people became attached to her. Someone said "At one point or another, we had all fallen under her spell". Someone else said that "she can make you feel like the most important person in the world one day and less than nothing the next." I watched people begin to drop away. I saw more than one person who had been caught up in her energy turn and leave SL. She asked me once after a friend had left "why are people so stupid?" I don't think she ever understood what was happening. I very nearly left SL myself but stayed because I knew that I would miss my other friends. She is a good person. She is an amazing person. She approached SL as if it were a game. It was a healthy approach for her, but I don't think she ever understood what brought so many others to Second Life. I was no longer hearing from her by the time that she had decided to leave. I wish that we could have talked. I don't think she ever understood me.

I fear that I will never hear from her again. I count her among the closest friends that I have ever had. Others knew that she is planning to spend less time in SL. A few hours ago, during the middle of the night, she sent out a group message informing the rest of us. I have dozens of pictures of her. The name of this blog comes from what she often would call me. Nearly everything I have done for the past two years has been connected with her in some way. She is part of everyone who knew her. I am already missing her. I hope she is ok. I wish her well.

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